Bowl Preview

What follows is my preview of the 2009 Liberty Bowl. It will be chalk full of in-depth analysis about the opposing team strengths and weaknesses and a will contain a thoughtful dissertation on each team's relative merits and chances to win. Only the exact opposite.

Look. The game comes down to something pretty simple. The UK defense is going to have to show up like it did early in the season and completely shut the Pirates down. Hartline and Co. might be able to scrape together 12 or 14 points, but that is going to be it. Even with a dominant defensive performance we could still lose the game. A stupid special teams play or offensive blunder could sink the boat all by itself. That is how little confidence I have in our ability to generate offense.

Obviously, the news was bad enough earlier in the week with the announcement that Randall Cobb would not play. Today word comes that Moncell Allen is academically ineligible, leaving us with only two healthy tailbacks. If one gets hurt, the other will have to do something no UK back has done all year, carry the ball more than 10 times in a half.

I've gone over several reasons why this game is important. Mike Hartline and the receivers could use some confidence going into the off season. A winning record would help recruiting and a losing record with a loss for a C-USA team would not. Perception is everything. Going from back to back 8-5 seasons to a 6-7 one, even with all the offensive firepower graduated and all the injuries is going to look like a big step back. Finally, I am going to be there, so a win is crucial. There is nothing more deflating than driving a certain distance only to watch your team lose.

On that note, lets leave talk of the actual game and move to the Memphis bowl experience. To know me is to know that I leave little to chance when planning my fun. If I could bottle the time I've spent on Tripadvisor, Expedia, hotels.com, Google maps, VRBO.com, ebay (for tickets) and Googling things like "Nashville upscale restaurants" over the last 3 years, I would probably find that I had time for a second job. It is an obsession with me. I want to know the shortest route, the best place, the best deal and so on. So you might be surprised to learn my Memphis plans are still somewhat up in the air.

On Thursday the Scutches and Big and Little Z will meet somewhere in Nashville, leave a car, and head to The Memph. In a move I might live to regret, I talked everyone else into cancelling our $210 a night rooms at the Downtown Crowne Plaza in favor of a Holiday Inn Select (80) near the airport and, consequently, the stadium. I figured a $250 savings per couple could hail a lot of cabs. Anyways, we plan to head to The Peabody to see the ducks walk at 5 that day, followed by a one block trip to Jillians to catch the second half of the Rose Bowl, then dinner next door at Texas de Brazil, at 7. It will be my first experience at a Brazilian steakhouse themed place. Reviews, including a shout out from Memphis native Jeremy Jarmon in Sunday's Herald-Leader, are good. From there, we are looking at a short cab ride to Beale or maybe more revelry in Peabody Place. (Other than Jillian's and T d B, I have no idea what else is there)

Here is what I have planned for Friday other than actually attending the football game:



That's right, jack. Tailgating? Not sure how it will play out. Dinner? Not a clue. A trip to Beale? Not sure if I'll make it there or not. I am about half pumped about this. I'll be kind of like this year's version of the Cats only hopefully more successful. See, I'll spend the first half of the trip as a careful, dropback passer. My meticulous planning has yielded the results it was expected to yield. Will we have a great night? Maybe maybe not, but the chances of us having a shitty night are pretty small.

On Friday, like the second half of the season, I am going to run some hurry-up, option, run and shoot and spread. I'm just going to take the snap and see what transpires. I could end up drinking beer in my hotel room until its time to drive to the stadium, pay some sketchy woman $20 to park in a yard I'm not sure belongs to her, pick up McDonalds on the way back to the hotel, and be in my PJs drinking Bud Light out of a can at 9:30. It could be the Tennessee debacle all over again.

On the other hand, I might find a decent place to tailgate, see a big win, find the right place to eat Bar-B-Q on Beale about 9, and look up at 2 am to see Big Z singing karaoke with Dickie Lyons and Ashley Judd while I'm holding a dirty gin martini someone I don't know bought for me. I could be a Georgia game Randall Cobb, right up to throwing a regrettable pick at the bitter end of the contest. A good unplanned night can be lot of fun, but even the best have a tendency to end poorly.

There are two central reasons for the lack of a plan. First, advanced parking was harder to come by than a bathroom vending machine condom at a Scissor Sister's concert. I followed several auctions on Ebay and never did a pass go for less than a ridiculous $65 bucks. To put this in perspective, I am paying $80 for a roof over my head for a day, with a shower, maid service, hairdryer and television and people will pay over 81% of that for a 5' by 9' piece of grass that they will leave their car on for five hours. Of course, you know what they call these people: people who will definitely not be drinking in their hotel room two hours before the game. So there is that.

After consulting a number of sources for game day options, I don't know what to expect in terms of grassy spot, beer in plastic cup friendly, port-a-potty available parking. Given that there appears to be little in the way of advanced parking, and the stadium holds 62,000, I'll probably be optimistic, pack the beer pong table and cooler and look for a spot. Surely there will be other stadium lots that are grassy and have johns. If you know of anything solid out there, now is the time to send me a comment.

Speaking of ebay, it bears mention that while passes were going for a premium, any random Joe could have bought 40 yardline seats for under face. Yesterday.

The second reason Friday lacks structure is, simply, that Bar-B-Q places on Beale generally don't take reservations.

So there you go. If you are down there and want to hook up with us, shoot me an e-mail or text.